There is nothing better for self-esteem than building self-esteem. As strange as that sounds, it is that simple.
Many feel that a person is born with it, or maybe was popular in grade school and held onto that for the rest of their lives, always succeeding at whatever due to public support. If only that were so, we'd all have an excuse to frown and be depressed most the time.
In many cases the opposite happens. The slim-trim blonde high-school cheerleader who maybe relied totally on looks for self-esteem later marries, has children and stretch marks, not to mention her hair turned gray from dealing with the children and possibly irate husband and she gained a good bit of weight from the extra bon-bons passed around at her literary club.
Much is expected of children of successful and/or famous parents. One thinks this may give them a "free ride" onto the high self-esteem track when it usually does just the opposite. In fact, many rebel and get into destructive habits to find their own voice, and never grow out of it. No self-esteem found here
I will go back to basics. Self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. That might not make sense if you feel your self-esteem has diminished for whatever reason. My point is, it can be learned for the first time, or re-learned in a whole new fashion.
Were you the star-wrestler in high school with rippling muscles and worked out regularly and was applauded every time flexed? Did you make good grades and were used to positive feedback? Maybe this enhanced your esteem early in life. But now life is different. Perhaps you have a big money-making business that does not interest you and you want to sell it. The pay all goes to an ungrateful wife who spends it on fashions and takes vacations with her girlfriends. Look around now. Did the self-esteem go down?
The truth is, as adults, we more often than not, have to create our own self-esteem. And the closer we get to knowing our real selves, the closer we get to higher self-esteem. We no longer get all the unconditional love, attention, and acknowledgment of our deeds we did when we were younger. It builds by the little things we do. Try it, keep a journal, and look at it next year. Read the whole year and see how dramatically you have changed for the better.
It may mean, on a day you are feeling lowest, you pick yourself up and go to a soup kitchen and volunteer. Maybe a nursing home and visit with the elderly. Tutor a kid with his/her homework. Do something positive to get outside of yourself. You will not get back your self-esteem most likely in one day. But if you find yourself making it a habit of helping others, you will slowly find your self-esteem rising. It is a natural consequence of helping others and getting outside oneself. Maybe it's physics. Maybe its the way the universe operates. But it works for many.
I fought low self-esteem for many years. Suddenly I looked up and I was fifty. But now, I'd had a major heart attack and I was keenly aware of my mortality. Heart attack? That was what other people had, not me. I guess everyone thinks that. So I took a week and analyzed my life. I took, (as Richard Dreyfus' book in 'What About Bob?', baby steps. I studied. I researched. I learned. I even went back to college online. I helped other elderly people learn the Internet and even helped a few get into college.
All these little things worked toward building my self-esteem and I don't say build it back. I don't think I ever had it in the first place. So self-esteem is new to me, and a little goes a long way.
With all the obstacles and challenges I have endured in my life, and I am certain there are many others who have much tougher stories, if I can do it, anyone can. I just take a little time out of each day and do something to build my self-esteem. I may do a lot of other things incorrectly, but I try to learn to do them right, and still, I take time for myself to do just a little something positive for me or someone else, or both, with no thought of compensation.
In a decade, these little deeds have made me a better person and I've accomplished much in my personal and professional life. I have created ten websites, one of them the most visited on the internet. I create cartoons and manufacture cartoon products that make people feel better. (See, I've done a little more for my self esteem *and* got paid for it. Not a bad deal if you ask me.
Exposing ourselves to humor helps us be more light-hearted. We learn to "wear the world like a loose-fitting garment". If you do not feel you are a funny person, no problem. Just try to expose yourself to something or someone humorous as often as you can.In time dramatic changes can happen and you will like them. I know that I did and I'm a very slow student. Eventually, even for me, it happened and is happening still.
But don't do it all at once. Remember, baby steps, a little bit each day, and in a year, you'll look back wondering who that sad person was (that was once you).
Self-Esteem Can Work Wonders For Your Self-EsteemRick London began his career as an e-entrepreneur in 1997 as a cartoonist in an abandoned Ms. warehouse at age 42. A decade later he owns one of the most visited offbeat cartoon sites on the Internet (over 7.8 million visitors since 2005), Londons Times Cartoons http://www.londonstimes.us, numerous e-tail stores http://www.ricklondonwear.com, and [http://www.ricklondoncollection.com] among others.
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